I want it gentle and soft.
Like silk pillowcase
To nurture the face
And thoughts
Unshaken by the reality.
Like the sudden raindrops
On the window glass in my bedroom
On a summer night in July.
I want it freeing,
Like the first deep breath
To fill the lungs
After crying on the bathroom floor.
I want it gentle,
Yet not easy.
I want it romanticized,
Yet not idealized.
Not only ideal does not exist
But it is a true defeat
Of real and raw.
I want caressing hands
That expirienced roughness of the world
Yet have choosen to be gentle.
I want it open and brave enough
To feel vulnerably.
As true love and merging of two souls
Never come without vulnerability.
I cease to believe
That twin flame shadows intertwined
And dancing in the dark
Are what love should feel like.
Let it be two soulmates
Who befriended their shadows
Yet have learnt to leave a light on.
Timing might exist,
But not in a way to hope
For someone to return.
Because if they were meant
To know how to hold our love
They would have stayed.
Instead timing should remind us
That even true love
Needs us to be ready for it.
I have fought sea storms
For so long,
That I have started to believe
Every wave is a sign
Of a storm.
I want it gentle,
Like a safe shore.
And I know I have been
Brave and strong,
But I'm ready now
To be just loved.